Why Parents Today Benefit From Coaching More Than Ever Before

If you’ve ever felt like an extra set of eyes, ears, and effort would help you achieve balance and fulfillment as a parent, working with a life coach can help you do just that. Top executives and athletes today rely on coaches for clarity and organization, so why not hire a coach to help you balance the hardest job in the world?

Clarity

As a modern parent who works, has other hobbies, who needs occasional peace and quiet… disarray and chaos become part of your everyday world. The unavoidable life clutter that comes with parenting erases clarity you may have once had in your thoughts and routine. Focusing on your children’s needs and your own can confuse the mind when you prioritize, organize, and attempt to live a productive and happy life. While it may be tempting to skip a 7 AM workout after an overwhelming day with the kids, you are more likely to push yourself and hit the gym knowing your coach will be checking in to keep you accountable.

Reassurance and Solidarity

One of the main functions of a life coach is the validation you receive when otherwise, you’d feel like you are lost in your progress in life. As a parent who makes thousands of micro and macro decisions a day on the well-being of children, some of those choices can leave you unsure or discouraged about your skills as a parent. While this is completely normal, it can feel like anything but.

This is one way a life coach proves effective: discussing anxieties and milestones of parenting with a professional who highlights the incredible choices you make daily is empowering and encouraging (especially for new parents). On the other hand, with frustrations such as feeling sluggish, juggling your healthy meals vs. kid-friendly quick dinners, or communicating with your spouse, a coach is there to hear you and guide you into balancing it all.

Balance and Fulfillment

It is incredibly important for parents to not only feel balance in their parenting and individual needs, but to also feel fulfilled in their dreams and endeavors outside of parenting. These feelings help avoid resentment of parenting and motivate you to work hard at the hardest job in the world, while also pursuing your own passions and fulfillment outside of your children. Now that you must divide your attention and time, a life coach doubles the effort spent on your dreams in a limited amount of time.

With techniques such as motivational interviewing, action-oriented goal setting, and exercises to clarify your desires, working with a life coach to achieve balance and fulfillment can help you feel whole and empowered as a parent and as an individual. To get a more in-depth look into what a conversation with a life coach sounds like, this article provides a sample session that you can read through.

Life coaches today exist to enhance your strengths as a parent and human, to help organize your priorities, and to encourage you to take clear action and reach your goals in life and health. Taking advantage of their help allows you the space, freedom, and confidence to balance your busy world and show up as the best version of you for yourself and your family.

Guest Post by Kristie Santana is a Master Certified Coach with over 15 years of coaching experience. She is the founder of the National Coach Academy and coaches clients all around the world, specializing in work-life balance.

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The Art of Fine Tuning

Last week was another one of those crazy ones that are far more regular around here lately.  I was working on another furniture painting project (I paint furniture on the side  – more on that another time) and was having trouble getting the paint to lay right on the top of the dresser I was working on for a client.  It seemed no matter what I tried, I kept getting these teeny tiny microbubbles that were leaving the top of the piece looking very uneven and spotty.  I had never run into this problem in over 5 years of spraying furniture and had been struggling to resolve it for over a week.
So, in an attempt to fix the situation, I told my husband I was going to take some extra time one night to try and find the solution, once and for all! After spending over an hour of fiddling with my paint spray gun, I was no closer than when I started.  I was so frustrated and on the verge of pulling my hair out, so I decided to take a much-needed break.
I went upstairs to where my family was getting ready for dinner (my shop is located off our garage in our daylight basement). When I get upstairs, my family could tell I was frustrated, to say the least, and my 5-year-old son promptly told me to, “… be positive about my painting and think good thoughts…”, just the type of advice I would have given to him in the same situation!  This completely took me off guard and stopped me in my tracks.  I knew he was totally right! My attitude was terrible, to say the least, and clearly not helping my situation at all.  I needed to change the way I was looking at this situation and try again.
I went back down to the shop after dinner, and long story short, I made a few very minor twists and turns on my paint spray gun and I was back in business!! The bubbles were gone just like that!  The difference this time was the amount of twisting and turning – the solution ended up being much more minimal compared to what I had been doing – yet, it was clearly all that was needed.

Oh, the metaphors for life that exist in this situation!! I just am always shocked (you would have thought I have figured it out by now!) how often the simplest changes can make all the difference in the world.  I think we often tend to complicate things, in general, but when we get down to it, the best things in life are usually, just that, simple.  In all of the craziness of schedules and to-do lists, I know I feel like I will never get it all done or find happiness in the chaos, but what if I choose to look at it differently?  I will never get it all done and that is okay – it means I am alive, right?  But, seriously, I hope that I am 90 and still have a mile long list of things I want to, things that make me excited to get out of bed, people to spend my days with, and have learned to enjoy the fun that chaos brings to it.  I mean, who really wants to know everything that is going to happen before it happens?  Chaos brings surprises and great unknowns – often the best things in life come this way.

I also think that being reminding that advice and words of wisdom can come in many forms like mine from my kids, or maybe yours is from a co-worker, or a friend, or even someone you are not so friendly with – you get the picture.  Help can come in many forms, some you may ask for, some not so much.  The advice that I got in that moment when I needed it the most, was just what I needed.  I needed to make a minor tweak to find my alignment again and realize that things don’t have to be hard.  Life isn’t supposed to be hard, it’s supposed to be good, really good.

Understanding that Self-Care isn’t Selfish, But Necessary

As women, we are called to be many things to the many people in our life – mother, wife, sister, friend, someone who not only can work outside of the home but, within as well. Many of our greatest joys come from serving others, but what about serving ourselves?  What about finding time for the “me” on the list?

In our society, the term “self-care” has been popular in recent years, which is a great transition for our society to actually recognize the importance of this, to begin to understand how many ways we are pulled. Often if we don’t schedule time for ourselves, with the same attention as we would a doctor’s appointment or a class for our children, etc., we won’t make the time to refuel and fill our cups.

When I first became a mother, the idea of having my own time to myself didn’t seem possible – how could I take time away from my new baby and my family? I hardly had the time to do the things that my family required to survive our day to day lives, so how could I could I really find time to indulge in “relaxing” or doing something for myself?  The idea of going to a yoga class or taking a walk by myself or taking a bath and enjoying a good book seemed selfish and overindulgent. I felt like this was just something I couldn’t do and so I didn’t – the old “mom guilt” won out.  However, as the days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months, I was at my wit’s end.  I knew that I couldn’t keep living like this, I knew this wasn’t the life I envisioned for myself when I dreamed of having a family.  I started to become resentful and was losing my patience at things that I would never have before.  I wasn’t able to keep up anymore and I knew that something had to give.

For me, this was the real first step to creating the life I wanted.  The contrast of what I was living was so strong compared to what I wanted – the clarity of that couldn’t be denied.  I knew that my family deserved the best version of me.  I had become a robot simply going through the day to day tasks to keep my baby alive and content, but there was no longer any joy, no longer any real zeal for life – there wasn’t any time or energy for it.

This is when I first reached out to my intuitive coach in search of a new way of living.  How could I recreate my life into something that felt good, something that filled me up?  How could I find activities and new ways to start taking care of myself, while also taking the steps toward a life that felt authentic and purposeful?  I didn’t know then, but that was the first step in what has now been a four-year journey to get where I am today – still on my journey, but coming from a much different place, a place that feels light years away.  I feel more at ease and more like myself every day.  I still have a ways to go – but, we are never truly finishing, rather always evolving and changing.  I will dedicate this blog to the many ways in which to return to your true self.

One of my first real observations about self-care was the biggest benefits of taking time for yourself is allowing yourself the actual time and space for your mind to slow down enough to be present, — if you are looking to make a big change in the right direction for yourself, this time will help you gain more clarity about what direction to go next, what changes to make, and how to find what makes you happy again.

Made for Me

Last night, like many like-minded women in our country, I went to the movies.  Not just a typical night rom-com movie though – but, rather, I went to see the new movie by Rachel Hollis titled, , Made for More.  This film is all about Rachel and her husband’s company “Rise” and their dream to help others become the best versions of themselves. The film was done in a documentary style featuring Rachel and her Rise team putting on conferences throughout the country. I knew it was going to be good because I had just finished her New York Times Bestseller, Girl, Wash Your Face.  Her uncanny ability to be vulnerable, open, and honest about her journey to where she is today – following her dream, demonstrates that every woman can create the type of life they envision for themselves.  The core message is that we all have what it takes to make our dreams happen if we are willing to put in the time, effort, and ultimately learn to be our best selves each and every day.
As I am starting my own coaching business, this movie really resonated with me – I am choosing to step into uncertain times as Dave Hollis spoke about in the movie.  I don’t know exactly how this chapter in my life will look, but I know I will find success, but I will also struggle at points as I learn.  We each have goals and passions that make us feel alive and create a sense of excitement for what is to come.  This business is definitely my “more” and why I am up at 4:45 in the morning today. I am making the time to make my dream happen because I am the only one that can do that, after all, it is MY dream.
Besides giving its viewers a good kick in the pants, the movie also gives some practical advice for making positive changes in your life and how to set out to make a goal reality.  Rachel talked about how each of us can work to be really effective and how we each need to select one goal to work on at a time.  Just one.  I think this is so liberating – one goal, that is so realistic and relieving!  Find 1 hour 5 days a week to spend building and cultivating this dream and see what happens. It is this type of “stuff” that really makes goals attainable and possible.  I know how to break down my goals into bite-size chunks and make that happen.  I am made for whatever I want and I choose more.